These Liberal Snowflakes Are Impinging on My Freedoms!

I believe in two things in this world: America, and freedom. But of course, these liberal snowflakes just descended on my home state this past week and you wouldn’t believe the changes they have already brought about. First off, they are canceling everything. School? Canceled. Bus routes? Canceled. Our fossil-fuel energy grid? Canceled.

Now I’m being forced to do all sorts of things that are part of the liberal snowflake agenda: I have to dress a certain way to be allowed out in public, and this way makes it very hard to tell people’s…