Welcome children! Big news here at DGAF Academy. With the extension of the school year to “indefinitely” we have also “indefinitely” postponed our academic track in favor of vocational training. There is only one vocational track available at this time. It is cleaning. Welcome to the cleaning track! I know…

In my family we have a tradition of writing song parodies about the Passover stories. We wrote the first one to the tune of Copacabana in 1996. This year I wrote a parody of Truth Hurts. It is a terrible parody of an amazing song and it still brings me…

Shit show “Shit show” is a descriptive noun. I think that’s a thing. It means something is a total mess, totally crazy and disorganized. Like the house right now, for example. Or this school day. Or the world. No, you can’t call your sister a shit show. People aren’t shit shows. Unless…

Well, this is awkward. I was really proud of many of the innovations DGAF Academy pioneered this week. But it turns out that “four day school weeks” and “half day school days” only get you so far when your school is a boarding school. So, yes, school is technically out…

Once upon a time, six days ago, a millenial lived in the Epicenter of the Big Pandemic, in a little house made of porous surfaces. The great, dark stay-home order of the Pandemic stood all around the house, and beyond it was shelter in place and beyond that was martial…